I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
