Sry I called you an 8
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
