I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
