When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
