it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
