Acid is not a monday night drug
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
