He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
