You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
There's always time for handjobs
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
