Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
