Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
