My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
