I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize