He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Randomize