I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
