quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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