you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
there was a trapeze. enough said
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
