There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
