If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I want to fling myself into the sun
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
