I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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