We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
