so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
