somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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