dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Randomize
