So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize