Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
