a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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