Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
