it wasn't lemon gatorade
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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