im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Randomize
