It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
