Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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