This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize