Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
