Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
