he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
