wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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