paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
