Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
