Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Randomize
