So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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