just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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