how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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