you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
