I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I love having hate sex.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
