So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
