32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
