Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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