So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
