Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Boobs speak an international language.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize