i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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