So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
