And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
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