the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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