Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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