Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
